Any Peace Corps volunteer will tell you that living life abroad sometimes feels like living in an alternate universe. One where the color of your skin is more interesting than you ever thought it was. One where going to the market means dealing with any number of requests/propositions/demands, etc while you’re just trying to buy some damn beans. One where you feel all eyes on you and every move that you make.
Most days, it’s probably best to ignore the comments and shouts that come your way. Certainly, if it’s someone you know, these comments and shouts to get your attention are a welcome invitation to greet someone and have a nice conversation. But sometimes you can’t always keep up with the witty responses you’d like to give, and instead envision yourself knocking people upside the head with your bag of bananas.
Ideally, we’d like to avoid such violent acts since we’re abroad promoting world peace. So that’s why I’ve put together a brief reference guide of some handy tactics you yourself can use the next time you find yourself being shouted at by strange people.
*Disclaimer: In the Cameroonian culture of greeting people, shouting isn’t always perceived as negative. Shouting is in fact often necessary to be heard above the loud roar of motos and market chatter. So every time I get shouted out, I don’t immediately think it’s someone who doesn’t know me. Sometimes they do know me. But I can often tell the difference by whether or not they use my actual name. This can be deceiving however, because some people learn your name on the street and then give you a twighlight-zoney feeling as you rack your brain trying to remember how you “know” them.
Also, courtship can be aggressive. As a female volunteer, I most frequently receive courtship proposals from men, however I’ve been told that females can be equally as aggressive towards male volunteers when it comes to presenting their feelings and desires. What is perceived as harassment from an outsider, isn’t always intended as such from a local. Always proceed with caution and be wary, but many times when people yell at me, they just want to get my attention and say hello.
In any case, there are those people you’ll come across, both male and female, who find you fascinating and feel the need to ask you for something or generally shout at you until you respond. When you feel like engaging, there are several ways to proceed:
THE LINE: “Oo la la, hello my darling!”
Tactic: “Correction”
Example: “Oo la la, and I’m not your darling.”
General response: Awkward laughter
THE LINE: “La blanche, are you married??”
Tactic: “Lying & Shutting It Down”
Example: “Yes I am. But even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be looking for a man like you. I would need a man who didn’t call me la blanche, who was nice and respectful, and who was rich. And you’re sitting here selling phone credit so…. It’s not you”
General response: “Oh… well… I… uh… I love you”
THE LINE: “I’m looking for a white woman, do you have a sister, a cousin, a friend? Anyone?”
Tactic: “Shaming”
Example: “Uhh… no?? Why do you even want a white woman? We’re not that great, we’re not all rich. And do I look a dating service? Sir, why are you asking me this? I’m just trying to go to the market, I can’t speak for any other woman, this is really inappropriate”
General response: “Well uhh… I still want one. So if you have a sister, can I have her?”
THE LINE: “La blanche!”
Tactic: “Confusion and Misdirection”
Example: “What? There’s a white person? Where? Me? No I’m not white, it’s not me. Excuse me ma’am? I think this guy is trying to talk to you”
General response: Silence
THE LINE: “La blanche!”
Tactic: “Facts”
Example: “La blanche actually is not my name. I’m not responding to it because it is not what I’m called. By anyone”
General response: “Oh, pardon me madame, I’m so sorry. So are you married?”
THE LINE: “La blanche!”
Tactic: “The Fire-back”
Example: “LE NOIR! Wow, black, you are the first black person I’ve seen. Black, black, black…you are black, wow!”
General response: Silence
THE LINE: “Hey white person, isn’t there anything for the poor?”
Tactic: “Defensive Questioning”
Example: “Excuse you, but there is everything for the poor. I am a volunteer, I have no money in my pockets. I am like you, I am trying to find work. Who pays me? Where is my money? If I gave you money I’d have to give to everyone. What do you do with your money? Where are you spending it, why don’t you have any?? Stop buying beer.”
General response: “What? I don’t buy beer, I try to work, I don’t know where my money goes, my wife took my money and left…” *sad face*
THE LINE: “Rachel! Give me your *insert select item*” (sunglasses, purse, shirt, dress, shoes, bracelet, food I just bought, etc)
Tactic: “Reverse Psychology”
Example: “WHERE IS MY PART?? Give me YOUR bag. Give me YOUR hat. GIVE ME, GIVE ME”
General response: “Ok great, let’s trade!”
*Warning* This may backfire. Be sure to be extra obnoxious to prove how obnoxious THEY are. Proceed with caution.
THE LINE: “Excuse me, are you married??”
Tactic: “Proposition”
Example: “I am married… however if you’d like you can be my third husband. No wait, I forgot one… you can be the fourth?”
General response: Awkward laughter and dropping the subject
THE LINE: “My darling, you are beautiful”
Tactic: “Sneaky Thanks”
Example: “Aw, thank you so much, my husband thinks the same thing!”
General response: “Oh….”
Big Adventures in Little Africa 