In January of 2013, after months of putting it off, I was finally able to click the “Submit” button on my application to become a Peace Corps volunteer. I was instantly flooded with relief and was optimistic as I stepped into playing the waiting game. I had heard that the application process was long and tedious, and it was best to keep busy while you waited to hear back. So that’s what I did. I went to work, I went out with my friends, and I waited. I kept my hopes about the future realistic, while also imagining how cool it would feel to be able to call myself an official PCV.
Having graduated college almost three years ago, I was feeling a bit restless with myself and thought it was finally time to try and move forward with this life goal I had haphazardly been talking about ever since graduation. I had searched for jobs and internships all the while killing time before I was “ready” to apply. I interned with Casey Trees and the Wildlife Habitat Council, and even sucked up my pride to return to my seasonal job as a cashier. I landed my first big girl job in 2012, but certainly didn’t think of it as my dream job. I wanted to do something bigger. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to challenge myself. So, needless to say, finally sending in that application was a weight off my shoulders and hopefully a step towards accomplishing something I wanted to do.
Enter September 11, 2013. A seemingly normal day at work. I turned on my computer, made a cup of tea and got ready to get some things done. After many email exchanges with my recruiter, one nerve-wracking interview, encouraging words from family and friends, and watching the months go by, there it sat in my inbox that day: an official invitation to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Cameroon. Wait… what?? No seriously. Wait, WHAT! I thought invitations were supposed to come in the mail. Didn’t I just get an email a week ago telling me I had to complete another form? This can’t be happening. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. But there it was. My official “Congratulations!”. You’re in. Now the choice was up to me and I had a week to decide. With shaky hands I called my mom to tell her the news. She was beyond happy for me, knowing how much I wanted this, and with a nervousness in her voice she said, “Well, here we go!”
And here I go indeed. For the rest of the year and as I entered 2014, I knew big changes were ahead. Excitement and pride mounted, along with an unwelcome amount of self-doubt, sadness, and anxiety. I’ve talked to many folks who have all asked me the same question that I am continuously asking myself: why am I doing this?
Well, for starters, I think it’s high time I push myself out of my comfort zone. In some ways I’ve been fortunate enough to live in the same house my whole life because I have had the stability that comes with always knowing where home is. All my memories have come from one house and one neighborhood, which is amazing, but also sometimes leaves you feeling stuck. And I decided a long time ago that I don’t want to be stuck. I don’t want to be stagnant. I’ve seen what traveling the world can do to enrich lives, and I want that. I want to broaden my horizons and enhance my knowledge about other people, cultures, and life by pushing myself to be brave.
While it admittedly makes me a little uncomfortable to think about fully immersing myself into a culture that in many ways is completely different from mine, another reason why I’m doing this is to hopefully reiterate my worldview that at their cores, people are just people, no matter where they’re from. I believe that deep down, people just want to be loved, people want to be heard, people want to find meaning in their lives and do something important. This speaks to why I’m taking this risk, and also what I hope to see firsthand as I interact with new groups of people. Despite skin color, despite culture, despite language barriers, I hope to find meaningful connections with others around the world.
As is implied in the term “volunteer”, I also want to help. Countries that work with the Peace Corps elicit help from volunteers on their road to empowering their unique communities. I have no doubt that this will be an unforgettable learning experience for myself, but much of the idea behind becoming a volunteer is the desire to help people meet their own goals through cultural immersion and adaptation, through gaining trust and building friendships, and sharing and gaining technical skills. I want to get my hands dirty! (And with promises of dusty dirt roads and bucket baths, I’m sure this won’t be a problem.)
Lastly, one of the biggest reasons why I want to do this is because too many people (myself included) never do what they say they’re going to do. It’s all too easy to write a bucket list, but never check anything off. It’s too easy to envy those around us while never doing the things we say we want to do. It took me awhile to finally sit down and complete the pieces of that application, and while I know that I’m not locked into doing anything I don’t want to do, at the very least I want to live my life knowing that I tried.
So welcome to my blog! Here’s to new and big adventures in a foreign land. Here’s to re-learning French. Here’s to eating strange food. Here’s to the diarrhea that will come after eating strange food. Here’s to new friends. Here’s to the people that I will miss dearly. Here’s to growing up. Here’s to Cameroon: a wonderfully complex country and society whose variety in ethnic groups, religions, and geographic diversity has given it the nickname “Africa in miniature”.
Big Adventures in Little Africa 